The Challenges of Raising Our Children in America
A question
asked by migrants living in the country of the diaspora in general and in
America in particular
Aren’t you
afraid that your children will have different habits?
The
education of boys in Western countries and the prospects of
"corruption" due to these societies worry many Eastern immigrants,
especially religious people. Conservative religion and traditions are perhaps
the greatest concerns. If we try to understand these fears, we can summarize
them -- without too much prejudice -- with the fear that children will stray
from their religion and engage in extramarital sex. These are the biggest
fears. Fathers are the most afraid of their children in this regard.
What do I
think of this as a Muslim Arab immigrant who has chosen to live in this strange
and western country, which stems from the perspective of children growing up in
this society? It’s my answer, my jurisprudence, and my personal choice, and
it’s no secret that you can hear answers that vary depending on who answers
them.
First come
and tell you about what I’ve seen of realistic models of immigrant children
growing up in America. Did he spoil most of them and distance himself from his
religion? Do the most Arab and Muslim girls grow up in America let their
parents live with men without marriage? The answer is no and no! I have already
seen some of the models of children who have been fully integrated into the
mores and customs of American society and who have succumbed to them from the
customs and the religion of their parents. But these models barely go beyond
the fingers of one hand!
How many
models have emerged in America in which children retain their religion and
traditions? I can barely count a number of those I’ve seen and known in
category two. The short answer, therefore, based on practical experience, is
that child corruption is, of course, possible and influenced by the habits of
society, but it is neither inevitable nor predominant. My answer to this
question also includes a question: Don’t some children - God forgive you - ruin
our Arab and Muslim societies? The answer is known and intuitive! Don’t young
people also leave their religion and/or their traditions in our countries? Yes,
no doubt! If you fear for your children, know that the preservation of God is
not limited by the borders of countries, and the means of corruption exist
wherever man is.
In cases
where God wants children to deviate from the traditions and religion of their
parents, to varying degrees, we must consider and explore their causes. In the
most real cases I’ve seen, there have been differences between parents, which
have led to divorce or a serious deterioration of the relationship, and there’s
no secret about the negative effects that has on children, even if the timing
and the location are different. In other cases, parents make no effort to
educate their children about their culture and are concerned with the work and
demands of life, which has planted harvest, but which has not been planted does
not cry if the harvest does not come!
On a
personal level, this gives me no reason to worry, I believe, as I said, that
the presentation of God is within the reach of man everywhere in the vast land
of God. Like everything in life, man’s greatest potential is to make efforts,
to take reasons and then to rely on God. The many fine models I have seen
confirm that a good moral and religious education of children is undoubtedly
possible in American society.
As I have
made clear, here are some of the things that I think parents who are concerned
about their children in American society are talking about:
The most
important thing you need to understand and accept is that your migration and
the emergence of your children in American society cannot make them a 100
percent sponsor as they live in your home country. They are half-American
Arabs. That has to be accepted and dealt with. Every human being is the son of
his small community (family) and his larger community. If you want your
children to grow up in 100% Arabic, don’t migrate! It’s a question of culture
and language. If your biggest concern is creation and religion, the more they
create a religion in American society. It is a society that allows human beings
and gives them every opportunity: opportunities for progress in science,
culture, work and any field chosen by man, opportunities for pleasure and
corruption.
If you want
a climate that allows you to more easily retain the creativity and religion of
your children, what you should be looking for is a small community where the
values and ethics that you want to promote in your children are in place. The
small community I mean is around you from family and friends. There are cities
in America where it is difficult to find a large number of friends and families
of the same cultural and religious origin. For example, Chicago, which moved a
few years ago, has a large number of Islamic mosques and schools, as well as a
number of Egyptian Coptic churches, with hundreds of thousands of Arabs and
Muslims. These features are generally available in large cities where the
number of migrant communities abounds and thus allow you to more easily form a
small community of friends who are in harmony with you and your values that you
want to maintain. Small towns have a smaller number of foreign communities and
so you can find a small number of your compatriots and culture, and you can’t.
It is
inevitable that you open yourself personally to your new society and that you
feel and understand it, in order to be able to distinguish the good from the
good. In American society and culture, there are many opportunities to provide
children with an excellent climate for their cultural and scientific
development and for the development of their personalities and capacities.
Children need to feel that their parents are able to adapt to and care for
their community. Your expectations of your children must also be realistic
about their maternal culture and the values you want them to maintain. You must
distinguish between traditions that belong to your mother culture and that do
not necessarily represent moral values and values
That goes
beyond space and time. For example, one of the biggest problems that Arab
families face here is the desire of their daughters (yes, only girls, men
always have more rights in these cultures!) in marriage to men of nationalities
other than the nationality and country of the mother’s parents. The spouses are
often of the same religion, but these fathers imprisoned in their mother
culture do not realize that their sons are Americans who do not thing with the
mother culture of their spouse as long as they live with them in the same
society and follow the same religion and the same system of values.
So the
result in my answer to the question is denial: I am not afraid of my children
(who are still in the belly of the absent) growing up in American society, and
I don’t feel that it is worse than our Arab communities in the chances of
turning the right!
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